Marriage Is Not Meant to Be a List of Adjustments

In a world governed by schedules, productivity, and constant urgency, it is easy for even the most sacred relationships to be treated as something we fit in “when there’s time.”

However, marriage, according to God’s plan, was never designed to be a list of adjustments, but rather an eternal priority.

The Family: A Proclamation to the World reminds us that “marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God.”

That means marriage is not an accessory to life, but a central part of God’s divine purpose.

When marriage is lived only in leftover spaces, its celestial nature becomes blurred.

President Russell M. Nelson has taught that “the most important decisions we make in life have eternal consequences.”

Among those decisions is how we care for our marriage each day. It is not enough to have made covenants in the temple; those covenants must be lived with intention.

Adjusting is not the same as building.

Adjusting means fitting marriage into an already overcrowded life.

Building means allowing marriage to shape how that life is organized.

The Lord teaches this principle clearly:

“But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness” (Matthew 6:33).

When marriage is treated as part of that kingdom, it stops being optional and becomes something we intentionally protect.

Elder David A. Bednar has repeatedly taught about the power of spiritual intentionality: sacred things do not happen by accident.

Marital love doesn’t either. It requires time set apart, full attention, and conscious decisions.

Praying together, studying the scriptures, reading uplifting marriage-centered books, and sharing meaningful moments are not “extra” activities.

They are practices that strengthen both the spiritual and emotional bond. Doctrine and Covenants reminds us:

“If ye are prepared ye shall not fear” (D&C 38:30).

A spiritually prepared marriage is more resilient in the face of distance, trials, and fatigue.

President Henry B. Eyring has taught that love grows when both spouses “choose to serve and listen to one another with their hearts.”

That kind of love does not develop in rushed moments or with divided attention, but in real spaces where both are fully present as husband and wife—not as just another role in the day.

Marriage does not endure by inertia.

It endures because both spouses choose to say, this matters.

Just as we make time to care for our health, our work, and our service, marriage must be actively chosen, not postponed.

God’s plan does not envision marriages that merely survive through constant adjustments, but marriages that grow through honored covenants, consecrated time, and deliberate love.

When marriage is lived this way, it ceases to be another burden and becomes a source of strength, peace, and celestial joy.

Because marriage is not something we simply adapt to.

It is something we build… with God at the center.