Today is Sunday. A day a Sabbath Day
And while my body rests, my soul reflects.
Earlier, while lying in bed with a slight fever, I watched the Netflix film Divine Influencer. The first ten minutes didn’t quite capture my attention, but I decided to give it a second chance. And somewhere in the unfolding of that story, something within me began to stir.
The film made me reflect on something deeper:
What happens when faith feels shaken?
What happens when religion feels distant?
What happens when terrible things are happening in the world — and to us personally?
This article was born from that reflection… and shaped with thoughtful guidance along the way.
There are questions that do not come from rebellion, but from pain.
Questions that do not arise from a lack of faith, but from having believed deeply.
For a long time, I thought faith was a guarantee.
That if I did what was right, if I served, obeyed, prayed — things would turn out well.
But life does not always respond with immediate heavenly logic.
And when injustice appears — when it wounds, when it breaks, when it seems to go unchecked — faith does not disappear instantly.
It cracks first.
🌿 The Moment Something Fractures
There is a kind of pain that does not only affect the heart.
It affects our personal theology.
When we see injustice without immediate accountability.
When people who act wrongly appear to prosper.
When our own prayers seem to remain suspended in silence.
In those moments, we do not always lose God.
Sometimes, we lose a simplified idea of Him.
The teachings of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints emphasize moral agency as an eternal principle. That means individuals can choose — even choose wrongly. And those choices bring consequences… though not always in the timing we expect.
President Russell M. Nelson has taught that in times of uncertainty, we must “choose to believe.” That phrase sounds simple, but it is profoundly mature. Choosing to believe not when everything makes sense — but precisely when it does not.
💭 Losing Religion Is Not the Same as Losing Faith
There is a delicate difference between losing religion and losing faith.
Religion is structure.
Faith is relationship.
Religion can feel distant when we are wounded.
But faith… faith is quieter. More intimate. More personal.
Elder Jeffrey R. Holland has spoken about holding on to what we already know when we do not yet know everything. That teaching challenged me.
Because when my faith faltered, it was not because I stopped believing in God.
It was because I did not understand why certain things were allowed.
And that is when I realized something uncomfortable — yet freeing:
My faith was maturing.
🔥 Adult Faith Is Not Naïve
Child like faith says:
“If I do what is right, nothing bad will happen to me.”
Mature faith says:
“Even when bad things happen, I will continue to trust.”
Mature faith accepts that:
• Moral agency is real.
• Injustice exists.
• Spiritual growth is rarely comfortable.
• Divine answers are not always immediate.
This is not resignation.
It is depth.
When faith stops being transactional — “I do this, You give me that” — and becomes relational — “Even when I do not understand, I remain” — something changes within us.
We are no longer naïve.
We are conscious.
🌅 It Was Not the End of My Faith
There were moments when my faith felt weakened by the injustices I experienced and witnessed. Moments when silence seemed louder than answers.
But now I understand it was not the end of my faith.
It was the end of a simplified version of it.
My faith did not die.
It transformed.
It stopped being a guarantee of comfort
and became a daily decision to trust.
And perhaps that is what spiritual growth truly means.
🕊️ For Anyone Standing There
If you have ever felt your faith weaken because of injustice…
you are not less faithful.
You are someone learning to believe with open eyes.
And believing with open eyes is not weakness.
It is spiritual courage.
