More Oxytocin - Love Doesn’t Hurt

There are phrases that stay with us, echoing long after we hear them.

One of them, from a movie, says: “Love doesn’t hurt.”

At first, it may sound contradictory, because we’ve all heard stories of heartbreak, tears, and painful goodbyes.

But when we look closer, we realize how deeply true that phrase is.

True love is not suffering, not chains, not torment disguised as passion.

Real love is a shelter, a place of peace, that calmness we feel when someone takes our hand and suddenly—even if the world seems to fall apart—we are safe there.

What Hurts Is Not Love, But the Absence of It

What usually hurts is attachment, dependency, jealousy, fear of loss, betrayal, or lack of respect. But none of these are love. True love nurtures, builds, and gives life.

Modern psychology supports this idea:

• According to psychologist Walter Riso, what causes suffering is not love itself, but the idealization of the other person and the renunciation of oneself in the name of that feeling.

• Neuroscience research shows that healthy love activates brain regions related to reward, motivation, and calm. Toxic relationships, instead, raise cortisol (the stress hormone), generating anxiety and emotional pain.

In other words, love protects. What hurts is the lack of self-love or harmful bonds that we mistakenly label as “love.”

The Romantic Side of Real Love

Picture love as a garden. It doesn’t hurt to see it bloom, to breathe in the fragrance of flowers, to feel the sun caressing the petals. What hurts are the thorns, the weeds, and neglect. But thorns are not the garden—just as pain is not love.

Real love is tenderness in everyday gestures:

• a cup of coffee served with care,

• a soft “you’re home” that feels like belonging,

• a silence shared without discomfort.

That kind of love doesn’t hurt—because love, at its core, is care, respect, and the freedom to simply be.

Science Meets the Heart

Science also tells us about the healing power of love:

• A Harvard University study showed that people in supportive, loving relationships enjoy better health, lower risk of heart disease, and greater longevity.

• Oxytocin, known as the “love hormone,” reduces blood pressure, lowers anxiety, and strengthens the immune system.

So, love is not only poetry—it’s medicine for the heart, body, and soul.

Conclusion

If it hurts, it’s not love. It may be dependency, fear, emptiness, or habit, but not love. True love illuminates, soothes, and gives life.

So the next time you hear the phrase “Love doesn’t hurt”, remember that it’s not some unreachable ideal—it’s a truth confirmed by science, experience, and the heart.

Love heals. Love elevates. Love transforms.

Because love, when it’s real, never hurts… it simply loves. 💖